My Girls

A friend of mine told me about his new daughter today.  It reminded me of the early days of my two (late nights of walking the floor and singing off key) and then I thought about the fact that both of my daughters still seem to like me.  I’ve often been accused of not having a good work home balance, or doing a lot for my girls (as if it were a bad thing), but my youngest just spent a fair portion of her weekend cuddled up next to Dad watching tv and relaxing.  Win for me.  I certainly do love my girls a lot and I’m grateful for the time I get to spend with them.  I hope I’m able to maintain that relationship with them into their adulthood.

Advertisement

9/11

I recently responded to a Facebook post regarding our response to our middle eastern neighbors, post 9/11 in comparison to America’s response to Japanese Americans in WWI.  I thought it was worth sharing here…

While I can very much appreciate your comments, in today’s world unlike the world of the past, the government doesn’t have to lock up people who look the same as those who have wronged us. Post 9/11, laws were changed and liberties were taken so that the need to keep people in a camp to monitor them was completely unnecessary. With previously illegal wire taps and previously illegal surveillance, the government continues to monitor and detain Americans of all ethnic variations under the guise of “keeping America safe”. We as American’s have a responsibility to each other to stand together and fight not only the injustices committed against us from outside our boarders but also those that are imposed on us from the inside under the misleading guise of security. “Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” I’m grateful that we’ve learned from our mistakes. Unfortunately, we continue to make new ones. I’m also grateful for the very patient and wonderful people I’ve met who “look like” the men who committed the crimes of 9/11; who’ve taken the time to be human to me and help me learn a little bit about their many and varied cultures so that we were able to make a meaningful connection and I was able to become a little less ignorant.

Damn I feel old

So it’s been a while since I posted anything in this space.  I really haven’t felt much like writing.  Honestly, I haven’t felt much like anything.  I wake, I work, I sleep.  Besides the occasional dip into my few remaining hobbies, that’s about it.  I’ve been thinking a bit of late about my daughter.  She’s 16.  Wow!  How the hell did that happen.  You know, there was only ever one time in my life that I ever really contemplated having a child beyond the day mine was first introduced to me.  Beyond that brief period, I never really imagined myself as a family man.  I got married at a relatively early age and my wife wanted children so I thought, ok.  It was never really… real.  Then when we were told that we couldn’t have any, it didn’t really vex me.  My wife’s pain bothered me of course, but the idea that I wasn’t going to be a dad didn’t.

Of course, that all changed when they showed me that first ultra-sound.  It was amazing.  I’d looked at probably hundreds of those silly pictures and I always felt a bit like I do when I look at those supposedly 3-d pictures that you’re supposed to squint to see the actual picture?.?.  I have never seen anything in those either; but, people would show me an ultrasound and I would hmmm and haaaa and they’d tell me how beautiful the baby was and I’d think it looks like you need to tune it in a bit better.  Never the less when I saw Jenne-Lee on the ultrasound, I saw the most beautiful little tadpole I’d ever seen.  I was instantly hooked.

Later she and I would spend nights together watching Star Wars (or rather sleeping through it) after she’d eaten at Mom’s and had her pants changed.  I’d walk the floor with her a bit and then I’d crash on my recliner and turn on the TV.  Soon we were both out.

Now here we are sixteen years later and she’s got a boy friend.  She’s going on dates and sneaking around so that I don’t abuse him.  I get it of course.  I understand; though, while I’ve teased her a bit about the concept of boys, I’ve never really meant it.  I’m just not sure how I feel about the whole concept beyond the fact that I feel really old at the moment.  The grey in my beard looks all the more grey and the creak in my knees seems just a little louder.

I miss my baby.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly proud of the young woman she’s become.  She’s amazing.  She’s incredibly smart and talented.  She sings beautifully and she would have no trouble outsmarting the best and brightest.  She has big dreams and wants to change the world for the better.  She’s confident and frightened and comfortable in her own skin and yet self conscious at the same time.  She truly is the next generation.  Better than her parents in so many ways and yet so naive about how it all turns out in the end.

I look forward to each day with her in it as she explores the next steps to adulthood and I panic about what she might do next.

I guess I’m a parent.  It seems silly to say I don’t know how that happened, but…

Heaven

In Heathrow airport, there is a place where pretty girls will walk up to you and just give you Scotch.  All while a very friendly guy in full regelia plays the bagpipes in the background. 

It was the perfect end to a very nice trip to London.  That trip also included seeing Spamalot and getting to sing Always Look On The Bright Side of Life with the cast in West End. 

The show was great.  The Whiskey was good.

What could be better?

Voices in my head

“I often have these little conversations with myself.  I do so love good conversation.” – George Carlin

“They are voices in my head, saying things that shouldn’t be said; I just hope that they will… go away.” – Stephen Lynch

I just wish they’d leave me the fuck alone.  I often feel like one of the guys in those movies where they’ve got the little angel on one shoulder and then a little devil on the other.  The difference is in my head, there’s a second couple having sex while the other two do sports commentary and make the occasional bet.

Certainly there are ways to quiet the voices but usually they are fleeting at best and rarely as thorough as one would like.  I’m told there are various chemical solutions to the problem but I’ve also been told that I’m not really in need of any of those.

Ah, well.  Here’s to the voices then.  I hope they enjoy scotch.

Happy Haunting

So our haunt finally came together and is something I’m proud of.  We have created better, more stable room structures and *my* room turned out very cool. 

I am the Hatter from Alice in Wonderland (Malice in Wonderland is the theme the girls chose this year).  I have a coffin for my table and I’ve set it for tea (lots of random sized tea cups).  I’ve also got several hats either on manaquins or on “heads”.  Part of my schpiel is that I ran out of manaquins so I’ve been using the guests and I will ask passersby if they’d donate their heads.

The character ended up being more absent minded professor than Hannibal Lector as I’d hoped, but I did find an amazing top coat at the Savers and its working out nicely.

Sadly, all of the Pics with the coat turned out pretty blurry but you get the idea.

Anyway, its been fun and the girls are loving it.  My oldest choreographed a dance number for the end of the haunt and when they do it together, its really very cool.  All in all, its turning out to be a good run despite having the wind blowing everything down earlier in the week and my not getting out to get my costume together the way I wanted to.  Hopefully Monday brings more people out.

Nothing happens to me.

“Nothing happens to me.”- John Watson

In the last couple of years, I’ve developed a fascination with Sherlock Holmes.  Now I know what you are thinking.  Actually, I don’t know that you are thinking at all to be honest, but if you are reading this, then I’ll assume for a moment that there is something approaching conscious thought going on behind those eyes and that you are thinking that my recent fascination with Sherlock Holmes is in some way related to Robert Downey Jr. 

You’d be wrong.

I actually developed my fascination with Sherlock, watching Jeremy Brett play the part.  I don’t even remember the first one I watched.  I believe it may have been Hound of the Baskervilles that caught my attention on Netflix that first time when I was looking for something to watch while I was by myself one day.  Regardless, after watching a couple of Jeremy’s movies, I decided to go looking for the books. 

I read a Study in Scarlet first.  I struggled a bit to get into the work as it was a different genre than I usually get into but it was compelling and I really enjoyed the character of Sherlock.  The absolute conviction that he is right about things struck a nerve in me as those who know me well will understand.  About halfway through the book, it takes a dramatic turn and starts talking about early Utah history and the Mormon settlers.  Holy Shit!  Talk about hitting close to home.  Suddenly I couldn’t put it down and I read the sign of the four shortly after.  When I picked up The Hound of the Baskervilles, I had a harder time getting through it and I got distracted by other book series shortly after that but by then I was captivated by another version of Sherlock Holmes.

I think I have Netflix to blame again for introducing me to the BBC’s newest incarnation of the character.  “Sherlock” depicts a younger incarnation of Sherlock Holmes set in a more modern London (did I mention somewhere on here that I’ve recently been to London?).  This incarnation is played by one Benedict Cumberbatch.  Benedict is brilliant!  He does a wonderful job with that part and is every bit as much fun to watch as Jeremy (by the way, I find both to be much more believable in the part than I do RDj though I thoroughly enjoyed his Sherlock Holmes movies).

Sadly the BBC only does three episodes of Sherlock at a time and they take a very long time to produce.  Fortunately, there is a lot of Sherlock Holmes material out there and I’m a far way from getting through all the books even.

I think it’s interesting knowing myself the way I do that I’ve been captivated by such a classic piece of literature.  I’ve never been much for Mark Twain or Shakespeare.  I’ve tried repeatedly to get through the Divine Comedy and had little luck.  I’ve always just assumed that I was not intellectual enough to assimilate the writing.  On the flip side, I not only don’t have any trouble getting my head into ACD’s writing, but I find myself identifying with the character of Sherlock.

There have been other smart characters that I’ve identified with: House, Hannibal Lector, but they always seem to have this “broken” element to them.  Sherlock on the other hand, doesn’t.  While in some social aspects, he seems a little stunted, he doesn’t appear crazy; although, I still love the line from “A Study in Pink” delivered so elequently by BC:

“I’m not a psychopath Anderson, I’m a high functioning sociopath, do your research!”-Sherlock Holmes

Just sitting around

So, sometimes I wonder why I put this page here.  I don’t use it much.  I rarely have anything worthwhile to say.  Then there is the question of who is reading it and what I might want to say to them. 

I thought at first that I’d use it to flesh out ideas; but, I’ve really used it more to rant. 

Then I thought maybe I’d use it as a type of journal; but its hard to post regularly to it as work currently blocks it. 

I’ve considered using it as a type of therapy; but, again, I wonder who would see it. 

In the end, I make no warranties as to what one may find here.  I post when the mood strikes and with whatever strikes me.  Sometimes its fun; but, more often than not, its just me rambling.

Today is kind of a down day.  As such, I guess I don’t have a lot to say.