25 Years – The Phantom

Wow!  As I sit here in my office, I open the door again and wipe away my tears, carefully making sure my mask is back in place so that I can face my day and the people I work with, with a small sense of regret.  I know it’s necessary in order to function but the man behind that mask get’s lonely.  That truly sounds very melodramatic, but forgive me, I just finished watching the 25th Anniversary Edition of The Phantom of the Opera. 

I don’t remember where I was first introduced to that music but I remember falling in love with it immediately.  It became one of the most played cds in my library and later would become my main source of escape when I was in high school (and beyond).
I had secured a place in the stage crew running the sound system in the theater/auditorium and I would sneak in there during the day to put on Phantom and sit by myself in the sound booth and draw.
I don’t know why exactly I identified with the lead character so much.  I certainly don’t believe myself to be hideous, but I have spent a fair amount of time alone.  Especially during my teenage years.  Add to that my affection for music and theatre, and my place behind the scenes for both and it almost seems obvious.
Music has always been my escape and there are certain pieces that will always kill me.  This particular version of the Phantom was especially dramatic as the original creator and cast of the Phantom came out to celebrate the anniversary of the show and Sarah Brightman, the original Christine came out to sing Music of the Night.  It was amazing as the cast past and current joined in to celebrate with Andrew Lloyd Webber and Michael Crawford (the original Phantom). 
I know that this show get’s a lot of crap about being cliche and stealing themes but it’s important to me.  This music was an important piece of my puzzle and it helped me to build the mask that allowed me to deal with people.  Again, it sounds very melodramatic, but fuck it, this is my narrative.
Theater has also been very important to me, in that it gave me one of my first chances to excel.  I was never very good at sports.  My mother will tell you that I played as a kid and it’s true, but I was never going to be a star there.  I was good with computers but at that point in my life, it only amounted to what I could do for other people.  On the stage (at least for competitions) I could shine and it seemed I was reasonably good at getting the most out of our sound system during shows as well.
It was on a stage where I was working in the wings that I met one of my best friends; and one of the biggest contributors to the program that is now Jon.
Add all of this history together and as I sit in my office enjoying the end of The 25th Anniversary Celebration of Phantom of the Opera, I find myself crying uncontrollably.  There’s a lot of history for me in that music and they created an amazing production to showcase the show that has meant so much to me over the years.  That said, I leave you with part of the final refrain from Erik; the man in the mask, destined by fate to die alone in large part because of his love for his angel of music.  I have been blessed to not share that fate, but at times, I very much understand that loneliness.
“Masquerade..Paper faces on parade; Masquerade.  Hide your face so the world will never find you.  Christine, I love you.” -O.G. (Andrew Lloyd Webber 1986). Thank you.

Advertisement